Author: jensumandthensome

Ya ever notice people make a bucket list when they think they may be nearing the end of their lives here on earth? Or suddenly there is a sense of urgency to get the things done you dreamed by never dared, yet now don’t want to live with the regret of having never tried? A bucket list, by the very definition, is of having a bucket which is empty, filled with dreams, aspirations, dares, trial and error, what-ifs until it is full of a life well-lived.

But why wait? Shouldn’t we always live every day like we are living instead of like, well, like Tim says….we’re dying?

So, I’m filling my bucket now. You know, as I’m living. That gives me the opportunity to either like it or love it, and maybe even do it again if I had a great experience the first time.

I am going to make a list, but aI am not going to share it here. There will be a limit of 10, because that’s always been a good, round and strong number, leaving each item its own self-worth and importance, a stand-alone. I will keep the list to myself, written by hand, and give each one its own space. It may not necessarily be completed before the shared word, but it will be a goal of mine, an idea, a tingle up my spine I strive to accomplish. Who knows? Maybe the written word by its very nature will spur me on. And maybe with your assistance, I can make some happen.

Let me begin:

The FIRST BUCKET LIST item has already been completed.

SKYDIVING

I can’t really say it was a lifelong dream to jump out of a plane. I just decided one day to..just do it. For the heck of it. Because I was in a state of mind and in a respite from my normal marathon and triathlon training days. An injury had forced me to put competitive running on the back burner, and through the lapse, I just needed something…more.

So I decided to jump out of a plane.

I was paired with a guy I had never met. He had a beard and a grizzly look. Probably had even a few Buds a few hours before. Quite honestly, that made the experience even groovier. I felt like I was busting through some time of staid and boring glass ceiling. My kids, all but one of them, came with me. I didn’t tell them where we were going until I got to the fields with the planes. They quickly got the gist, and were actually quite pissed off when they found out what I had been planning to do.

I didn’t let that deter me.

I trained through a video, slapped on the jumper’s uniform, said bye to the kids and climbed into a biplane with the Beard. The only other guy was the GoPro guy. Because, seriously, did it even happen if you didn’t record it? Hell, no.

As we climbed, with the plane door open, I can’t tell a lie: I had my first inkling of “What the hell did I just get myself into????” I were given the option to change my mind…but there wasn’t a chance in Heaven..or Hell…that was happening.

I was scared. And that was awesome. The thrill was amazing.

We climbed over the door, I on the bottom of him…and just …jumped.

Free-falling.

And then the upward thrust of the parachute. The sailing. The soaring. The spinning. And eventually…the landing.

I did it. I went skydiving. I jumped out of an airplane.

And I never felt the need to do it again.

Consider it checked off the list.

On to the next.

#BucketList

I was a pretty good student. Definitely not the smartest in my class, but I did alright. Ranked in the Top 15%, as a matter of fact. I remember being ranked 97th out of 7-hundred-and-something. See that? Not even sure if that really is 15th% because I actually sucked in Math, and still do to this day. But who cares…?

I really don’t even remember the speech from our Valedictorian, who was a kid named Steve, I believe. I also remember him as being a partyer, and a really fun guy!! He was kinda short with curly blonde hair. I have no clue where he is to this day. Hopefully he was and is a success.

I’ve never been afraid to speak in public, and so I am quite certain I would have had a great time giving a speech as Valedictorian. I wonder what I would have said back then if given the chance. Jenny Welsh, Valedictorian, urging friends and acquaintances to go forth and conquer. Show up. Make it happen. Be a producer, and make a difference in the world. Yada, yada, yada. Blah, blah, blah.

Which leads me to this: If I knew then what I know , or at least believe what I know now, my speech would most likely be a whole lot different than what my 17-year-old self would have come up with.

So, I decided to make myself a Valedictorian, and here is my speech:

Our time has come. Our time is now. We’ve made it this far and we should be proud of our accomplishments. We are ready to make a difference in this world, and to leave our mark everywhere we tread. College is ahead of us, where we can further our dreams into reality, and live the productive lives we have dreamt. We can emulate our parents, or maybe even learn from their mistakes as we perceive them.

Because our parents are our guides. They’ve given us our formation thus far. They’ve guided us, supported us both financially and in our day-to-day decisions, they’ve given us consequences to our own actions and made sure they adhered to the punishments. Most importantly, though, they have loved us unconditionally. Most of them are sitting out in the audience right now, beaming with pride at us. Thank your mother and your father, because they made you in large part who you are.

As we move forward into the world, taking one step at a time, planning out our own individual paths to greatness and navigating the curvy, winding roads to our goals, we should move so with humility and grace.

There is no path worth taking without faith in our God. Faith is the basis of all foundations; it gives us hope, fills us with a warm feeling of security and helps us in those undoubtedly to come times of turmoil. Because without faith, we are nothing but a raw egg in the front seat of a car without a seatbelt.

Some of us will define success differently than others. There is nothing inherently wrong with coveting the comforts a financially stable lifestyle can provide. A nice, warm bath at night with a roof over your head after a nice dinner, lying down in soft flannel sheets with the heat on during a cold winter’s night is nice. A vacation with your loved ones is a just dessert to a life of hard word. There is no shame in partaking enthusiastically in these somewhat superficial niceties. Nothing at all.

But we must keep in mind they could all be gone in a flash. A tragedy, an illness, a stock market crash, an unforeseen darkness to cloud over the life.

But faith is always there.

Be a good friend. Be a patient partner. Go to church. Tell your family “I love you” every time you can, which should be every day of your life. Take a compliment well and smile. Look every person who is speaking to you in the eye and make him/her feel like the most important person in the world at that particular moment. Show an honest interest in what they are saying to you, not once looking over the shoulder for something better coming along. Be they you who you would want them to be.

The world is ours. Just like it is everybody else’s. Thrive on the honorable spirit of competition, and when you win, do so with grace, and when you lose, which you will from time to time, do so with grace and humility. Be kind and congratulate, be humble and say “thank you”.

We will be heard, but we will do so without shouting. Always scream without raising your voice, and always look for the greater love and good in everyone you encounter.

God bless and God speed.

We had one thing in common, as far as I could tell. We were both mid-50’s, she already 55, and I approaching that strong number. New age bracket in races, on the uphill climb to 60, which sounds really pretty old to me. Like, time now more than ever to get things going on Chapter 3 of my life.

Kate Spade.

I’ve admired her from afar since the 1990’s. I’ve never been one to spend frivolously on stuff, like purses, unless I truly coveted one or two. In all honesty, I do have one. And so does my daughter, a gift from me to her.

To someone like me, who has watched her pennies and dollars most of her adult life, she lived the life I could only read about in Glamour magazine, or Vogue and other high fashion reads. Wow. What a life. Manhattan. The Met Gala. Park Avenue apartment, invited to every fashion show of every season. Sought after handbags of all fashion models. Whimsical, colorful, fashionable. And behind it all, the woman who started the empire in an apartment and built it to the sky.

She had it all.

But, apparently, it just wasn’t enough to sustain inner happiness, nor fill a void.

I’m no psychologist, and I will never understand the underworking demons which lead to suicide, the final decision.

I picture her apartment at this very moment: all of the high-priced furniture, the most likely filled to the rim closet full of designer clothing and shoes with red bottoms, boxes of hats and purses, many of her own and others lining the pristine shelves. The view of New York City, the phone by the bedside table ready to call a personal driver at any moment, the smell of fresh seafood wafting through the dining room, prepared just to taste by the personal chef. The daughter’ s bedroom, adorned and decorated to near perfection as any preteen dare to dream. The notebook with the meetings on the agenda, with high fashion houses, only the finest department stores clamoring to stock her new fall lineup of sparkle.

But then it all ended. Just like that.

I have been having a mid-life coming to terms of my own lately. No, not a crisis. I am not in crisis mode, just a re-evaluation mode as I peer at myself , the same eyes I’ve seen for years in the mirror, and dreaming of my next chapter to come. Have I done a good job? Have I run the good race? Have I been all God wanted me to be, or even what I wanted to be? I look deeper and know I wouldn’t change the fact I gave up a career to raise awesome kids and be a pretty good wife, but I have been lately in that state of “Now what?”

And when I enter this state, I look at people like Ms. Spade and think “Wow…she did it all. A glamourous career in an awesome place, and still with a husband and a child. Still knocking it out of the ballpark. Did I miss my chance? She’s got it all.”

And now…I’m wondering if maybe Kate Spade looked at somebody like me, in my comfortable home in a homey neighborhood with green lawns, filled with kids whose parents are all trying their best, shopping once in a while at Dillard’s and Nordstrom’s, weighing the benefits of the price tag before a decision is made to slide the VISA, and then going home to cook tacos before heading to the swim meet in and understated and now commercially available Lilly dress worn for the fourth or fifth time.

And, not quite suddenly, but little-by-little, it dawns on me that I have a pretty darn nice life.

She left a little sparkle wherever she went. Now I am going to use this moment to leave a little more sparkle wherever I go.

Rest In Peace, Kate Spade. Thank you for the ✨💥

Things that make you go “hmmmmmmm….”

You wouldn’t go to cardiologist if you saw him smiling in the parking lot.

If you Personal Trainer had a beer belly, you’d probably rethink your workout with her. It’d be ok if structurally her body type wasn’t what you craved,,,,but the gut? Nah.

It’s perfectly fine if a hairdresser has wild hair, colored crazy, or even hair that isn’t as thick as you’ve dreamed of. But split ends? Fried half way through, or breaking off? Um…yeah, that’s reason to go searching for a new one.

A dentist without a perfect smile is plausible. One with cracked, crooked and even yellow teeth is not.

I don’t really care if my kids’ teachers can recite the Constitution. But I sure hope they have their facts straight when and if they are questioned by the class. Especially if it’s a history class.

Many college coaches have never played the game at the highest level. I mean, look at Bobby Bowden. Trust what he says.

Although not possible to find out information, it would be a big “hell no” if I found out my own personal financial advisor was so deeply in debt he’d sell his mother’s dog to help him out.

I’m sure if an alcoholic trying to get sober saw his sponsor heading into a bar, he would rethink who his biggest cheerleader should be.

Wouldn’t want a nanny who despised kids and dirty diapers.

Couldn’t trust a marriage counselor who had 4 divorces under her belt. Then again, I suppose she could tell you what NOT to do.

Life’s ironies. They’re everywhere.

I don’t look back on my life so far with any regrets, but sometimes with a pensive attitude, thinking and picturing a couple of events, decisions, happenings and choices I just may have made differently. Like taking a left instead of a right. Some of them…well, I still have time. And I just may…

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

25. Always wondered what it would have been like to go to UCLA. Have no idea why, so I didn’t even apply. Loved my school in Virginia, but I played it safe.

24. Should have done theater. I love to perform. I would have been pretty good, I think!!

23. One time in high school, this boy, who was a free spirit, a drummer in a band, and not my usual “type”, asked me to jump in his Trans Am with him and drive South for the weekend. No plans. I chickened out. I’m still sure I made the right decision, but there’s just that little part of me that wonders….

22. I should have walked more at the beach when I lived there. Always felt like I needed to run, bust my ass on a workout. I saw the sun and water, but did I ever really feel and smell them?

21. Eat the cake. I should have eaten the cake. Always counting calories and the impending repercussions. I’m sure it tasted good.

20. I often wish I would have taken that proverbial year off to “find myself”. Travel. Live out of a backpack. Meet various people of different cultures and languages. Maybe with a friend, maybe not. One year off between school and the real world would have done me wonders.

19. Speaking of friends, I wish I would have been a better one. Best friend material. I never really had the really good, tell-her-everything type. No besties. It suited me mostly, but many times I craved it.

18. The vintage Levi’s with the bling in the store in NYC. They were so expensive…overpriced, but I do so regret not buying them. I think of them often and wish they were in my closet.

17. I probably should not have spent so much money on shoes in my life. Nah….forget that one. I love each and every pair. If you feel chunky or soft, just the right shoe makes you right.

16. Cars. I traded in way too fast and too many times. Stupid. Waste of money. Now I drive the same one for 12 years. I have evolved.

15. My wedding. I paid for the entire thing myself. I don’t regret the “Bone-In Chicken” choice, but I do regret the grand total. I’d get married small in a Catholic Church now and have a destination party somewhere else. If you wanna come….great. If not, oh well.

14. My boyfriend from college in Virginia followed me down to Florida after graduation. I should have told him I wanted to end it before he packed up everything and made the move. That was mean. We broke up 2 nights after he arrived in the Sunshine State.

13. Bedtime shouldn’t have been such a psychotic issue with me as a mother of my kids. But I guess it created order, so there’s that. But it also may have created some angst. A “Forest Through The Trees” issue.

12. I ran my first of 24 marathons at age 40 after having my sixth child.I did pretty well. I wonder how I would have done if I had started earlier?

11. Fitness has always been my passion. I often dreamed of owning my own studio/gym. I would have been good at that. They’re everywhere now.

10. My first-world-career passion was to be a TV reporter. I honestly should have tried way harder to follow through on that. I was on fire with the idea. But I wasn’t willing to pay the price of the low rung on the ladder in pay. I went for the money in sales. I made it, but I hated it with that same fiery passion. Money changes everything.

9. Speaking of work, being a mother has been the best, most rewarding path/career I could ever dream of. But, at this juncture, I’m beginning to think I should have kept my foot in the door somewhere. Trying to break back in is tedious and knocks a girl down a few notches. Self-esteem somewhat intact but taking a beating.

8. I should have gone to Moscow when my sister lived there. Big regret. Rome, too, with the family. Staying home with four young ones at Christmas time while the other three went has never been fully appreciated as a sacrifice.

7. I’ve been everywhere between a Size 2 and a 10. I look back and think “Who the hell really cares?” I wish I didn’t that much.

6. I should have told my coach in high school who dropped me like a hot potato when I was injured and couldn’t win him his accolades anymore that his opinion didn’t mean squat to me. I didn’t….I cried instead. But today would be waaaaaaaay different. I’d let him have it.

5. I never stay up late because I’m too worried about how I’ll feel the next morning. Fear of being non-productive. But I saw Jimmy Fallon the other night and I laughed out loud. Felt so good. What is wrong with me? I love to laugh!!

4. My kids don’t really know my nieces and nephews on my side of the family. Big, huge regret. Makes me sad.

3. Have to admit, sometimes I wish I was a little…softer. In speaking, in body language….just all around a little more gentile. Funny thing is, I’ve tried to be. But it feels phony. I’m working on a happy middle ground.

2. One thing I have no qualms over is the amount of pictures I have taken, especially as a mother. I only regret the pictures I didn’t take.

1. Have you ever been driving and think “I wonder what if would feel like if I just kept driving and ended up….wherever…even for just a couple of days?” You know, take the left when you should have taken a right? I do. Because I’ll always come back.

I’ve worked out for many, many years. In fact, I’ve worked out for far longer than I was even consciously aware of. As a kid, all I wanted to do was be outside, running around, kicking a ball, throwing a ball, scoring a goal, tackling someone twice my size, riding my bike as fast as I could until I had to break at the last minute, playing tag, Red Rover and the Danish version of Sharks and Minnows on the ice, even once having to head to the hospital in an ambulance after slamming down on the ice and cracking open my head. But I got him!!! I won!!

So, it’s always been my passion just to keep moving.

As I got older, other nuances entered the picture…like being a girl whose body was starting to develop and I hadn’t even realized it.

I’ll never forget when I came home to the United States after living Denmark for three years. I returned in the 7th grade. The first day of junior high was enlightening. I could see in the hallways the girls walking, and under their long blonde, brunette bouncing hairlines were the imprints of …gasp….a BRA!!!

Like, what the helllllll????

That is my first memory of being a…girly girl. And to be honest…I was not thrilled.

I felt behind the curve. And that day I went home and knew I was going have to tell someone I needed to buy a bra. I felt the burning embarrassment in my cheeks even surmising or imagining how my dad would look at me. I was his boy, his tomboy, and in reality, his last of three girls who somehow knew he probably wanted a boy and became that in my own head.

So we bought the bra at the PX on base. My mom and I.

Fast forward to all of the years in between: the years of a love of sports, a passion for fashion, and a quest to have the best body I could.

I was never the skinniest, nor the heaviest. I had the friends who were both. Body image dates back …way back. I never had issues with how I looked…or didn’t look…but I did feel there was something better I could achieve. So I worked at it.

I’ve had my highs and my lows. The funny thing is, I probably didn’t realize the highs until I was experiencing the lows. In other words, I probably did not fully appreciate my efforts and results because I always thought I could look, feel or perform better.

To this day, at the tender age of 54, I am always striving to stay active, to feel awesome, and yes…to look my best. It’s a little crazy, I know….because I’ve often heard people say things like: “What does it matter at a certain age, especially if you’re married?” Well, I just don’t get that way fo thinking, and I most likely never will.

I still get irritated with myself if I feel like a sloth, and not at the best me I can be.

But the reasons are different.

I was never a model on the cover of “Vogue”, and not even on “Shape” or “Runner’s World” magazines. But I would look at the ones who were and wonder what it felt like to look and feel that way. You know…that sense of perfect in some way.

The irony is once in a while I will find a picture of myself and think “Damn…I looked pretty good back then!!”, and then almost immediately I will flash back to that general time frame when the picture was taken and remember feeling soft, not as fit as I could be, and definitely no way in hell bikini-worthy.

And then I think “Idiot. I’d give anything to look like that right now!!”

My point?

Feel your power. Look in the mirror and love your efforts. Because it’s all just a snapshot of the bigger picture! You look better than you think you do…you are your own goal. Your body is your temple…on loan from God for as long as he deems necessary on this earth!! Treat it well, abuse it every now and then with a harder-than-hard workout followed up by the occasional sweeter than sweet Haagen Dazs Vanilla Almond Fudge pint.

Don’t dream away what you are right now. You’re awesome.

And so am I. 💪🏻

It was a week of heroes.

Through social media and in person, it was a week and weekend of badass athletes, winning the gold, going for the glory, heaving heavy sighs and seeing their parents more than sing their praises and thundering adulations. I’ll admit… I was one of them!! A proud parent of a winner, a friend of the parent of the winners, the record-breakers, the champions. You’re simply the best, better than all the rest. What a feeling, keep believing. Nah Nah Nah Nah, Nah Nah Nah Nah….hey, hey , hey gooooooo—-oood-bye.

The ribbons, the medals, the big-ass trophies. The smiles, the high-fives and the hugs all around.

Aint’ gonna lie…it’s a good feeling.

But I can’t get them outta my head.

Who?

The “others”.

The “others”, defined as the ones sitting on the bench, waiting their turns to shine. The ones who missed the cut, but made the trip on their own time to cheer on those who did, hoping for that same feeling in the future. And the ones who gave it their all.

I was at many sporting events this past weekend, both in person and virtually. Track meets, basketball games, swimming competitions, road races. I thrive on the spirit of competition…. I love being around the energy.

What I can’t get out of my head in particular is the athlete, yes….ATHLETE ….in Heat 3, Lane 1, or 7. Maybe even 8.

You see, that’s the slow heat at a track meet, and Lane 8 is the outside, slowest lane, effectively assuming this is one of the competitors who seemingly will not make a numerical difference in the outcome of the race when it comes to scoring points.

So, why do it at all, right?

A race in particular comes to mind…. a relay. Slowest heat, outside lane. Four runners, including a baton and handoffs. As the second girl was coming around, she was literally in second to last place, with last hot on her heels. The girl/runner to whom she was handing off the baton had a fierce look of determination on her face. Her teammmates were cheering along the sidelines, and parents and adults along the fence around the track doing the same.

There was not a chance in hell these girls were going to even win their (slow) heat, let alone score in the event.

But I can’t get their looks of determination out of my head!!!

I was mesmerized by my own thoughts of “why do it? It’s cold as crap out here today. You’re not going to score”. I was ashamed of myself when I thought about it futher.

You see, the spirit of competition is in all of us. The primal urge to be the best we can be…whether that is feeling our heart beat faster than the day before, scoring 2 points further than we did the game prior, getting off the bench or just plain completing a 10K.

Inner strength. Confidence. Pride.

So these are the people I remember from at least this weekend. It’s easy to cheer for the winners, and it’s fun. And it is deserved. But it is equally fulfilling to look deep into somebody’s determined eyes as they are grabbing the baton and going for it, or subbing in the game for the first time within the last minutes to stake claim, or posting a picture of their exhausted yet proud selves crossing the finish line of their first half marathon on a freezing morning when they could have just stayed in bed and woken up to a cup of hot coffee.

Atta girl. Atta boy.

I applaud and remember you. Way to get after it!!!

I find myself lately explaining the decisions I’ve made to my kids. For example, I’ve told my 17 year old I do not want him driving to an evening game an hour away after a full day of school, track practice and mental exhaustion with a friend, who has been driving for less than a year, with the game getting over at a late hour, with that same hour drive home. Nope. Sorry, buddy, but you’ll go with us, your parents, who are the more seasoned drivers, therefore giving your mom a break in the angst department, knowing you’re safe and sound and giving her a break from looking at her “Find Friends” app to see when you’ve arrived.

“I hope you understand. This is how it has to be, buddy”, I explain.

Or…

” I know you really want to go to B-Dubs. I know their wings are awesome. But they’re expensive, and I’ve made grilled chicken at home, or we could have some of the leftover pork roast from the night before. I feel bad, but we really shouldn’t be spending the money when we have good food at home”.

And then there’s…

“Yeah, your curfew is 11:30 . And here’s why….”

WAIT. STOP. HOLD THE PARENTAL PRESSES.

I. AM. YOUR. PARENT.

That’s your answer. That’s what I said, and that is ALL you need to know. I welcome all disagreement and mature talk, and questioning of my reasons, which are usually, and I dare say always well–thought out, and with your safety and well-being in mind. Short of being a “helicopter parent”, I will always have your best interest in mind when I arrive at my parenting decisions. I will never shut you out, yet I will not tolerate insolence at all. I will listen to you, even as you implore me to change my mind. I will not dismiss your pleas. I will regard you with open eyes and listening ears. I will never say I am always right, and I will definitely admit it when I see your point of view or logic.

But… and this is a HUGE “BUT”… if it is an issue on which I have strong feelings, I will remain steadfast.

Take it, live with it and know I love you.

I am your parent. I am not your friend.

Love,

Mom

I am trying hard to navigate the waters of “Life After 50 … Because I Ain’t Dead Yet”

I find myself in that position where the kids don’t need me in ways they used to, but just the same, I’m needed in other ways. I want to be there for all of them, now and in the future, but my very existence is not devoted to them 100% now.

I worked full time in my younger days, with much success. After holding on to a career for as long as I could, it became too hard having 6 young kids in 8 years. So, I dwindled to part-time, and then barely working at all.

Through it all, I kept up with my passion of being a certified exercise instructor, which is now something I am able to continue more frequently. It’s nice, I love it and want it to be a part of me for life. In addition to that, I have several other irons in the fire, including a Photography/Videography business, Blogging4Business (writing script and prose for small businesses) a smaller level of Event Planning, and a few other gigs.

When somebody asks “Do you work full time?” , I have to think about it. I don’t have one full time job, but I fee like I am always trying to do something.

I am not big on unproductive time.

So, that being said, I would like to further advance myself out into the world with the qualities and the passions I possess. I can be quite a commodity when I am interested in a project.

I came upon a part-time, flexible job which sounded right up my alley. I could sooooooo see myself doing it, and so I decided to apply.

Doubt set in. Why? Because I have been rejected by no less than 6 job opportunities, some coming right down to the hiring wire, in the past few months.

Honestly, I felt so much doubt about myself. I hide it well, though.

So, I took a look at my cover letter and my resume. B-O-R-I-N-G. And not depicting myself at all.

Instead, this time I took a chance. Because…I don’t want to get busy dying. I want to LIVE…and I figured…I have absolutely nothing to lose.

Please take a look at my cover letter I sent, and let me know what you think:

I am emailing you in the interest of obtaining more information of the job description I discovered through ______________.

Sure, I did read in detail what the part-time freelance job would entail, but what intrigued me most was the boldface print section on the bottom indicating you did not want to hear from applicants who are looking for a temporary gig to tide them over until a real job was found.

I was especially interested in the fact you used the word “gig”, which automatically led me to the decision this would be a company I would fit in with completely.

Let me tell you why:

Sure, I could attach my resume and let you see how successful I have been over the years of my life in the field of Sales, which, as we all know, is nothing much more than how well you interact with a variety of people.  I mean, honestly, have you ever met somebody who has had a modicum of success in sales with the personality of a doorstop?  Yeah, neither have I.

But the truth is, I have had huge success.  I took my college degree and ran out the door of James Madison University  with it , finding my first sales job in Tampa, Florida, and then ending up with a higher paid salary in Ft. Lauderdale, still in Sales.  All the in-between stuff would just be writing on paper.  Probably boring stuff, and most likely little more than perused.  We are now interested in the end result and beginning of a new goal.

So, here I am.

I may as well cut to the chase:

I am a 54-year-old mother of six grown children who has remained vibrant, social, politically aware and financially fiscal.  I have retained several part time jobs over the years of raising my kids, including remaining a certified group exercise instructor, a freelance photographer/videographer of events and all-around Volunteer Mom.

It’s time to do more.

Have you ever seen “Shawshank Redemption”?  One of my favorite movies.  My reason for bringing it up here is one scene in particular:  There is a character named “Red” who has been in prison for most of his life and keeps getting rejected by the parole board.  Toward the end, when they are giving him one more time up for review in front of the board, he takes a different approach.  The speech is unforgettable and totally relatable.  He informs them he is through playing the game…he is not going to say what he thinks they WANT to hear, that he is rehabilitated. Instead, he takes the gritty, honest path and tells them he doesn’t know, but what he does know is he would take his old self and “talk to him”, teach him right and wrong so that it never would have happened in the first place.  He knows who he is now, and that is all that is important and vital.  He realizes, in his own mind, he is not the same person, but one that could make a difference in the outside world.

He is granted parole.

I can truly empathize with Red. I felt the power of his speech as relatable to my own situation in this life. It would do neither a company nor myself any good to answer questions with predictable words, the canned answers which perhaps possible employers were accustomed to hearing, like “I am a people person”, or “I am detail-oriented” and I never miss a deadline”, (although all true in my particular case…), nor would it be a good idea to create the person I am not, yet only the person I think you want to hear. To ramble on about the success I have had in my prior life without instead focusing and shining on the supreme qualities I have now as not only a hard-working individual with goals, and a passionate one with differing, yet just as desirable qualities would be not only redundant, but as well not prudent to let the essence of myself be known.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am no criminal. (Insert a laugh….) But, what I am is a woman who knows exactly who she is and has lived a life long enough to know that fulfillment comes from the gut.  I have no regrets, no looking back and saying “woulda coulda shoulda”.  All I know is what I have to offer now.

I am not shy.  I love to converse, in many different settings.  I am not afraid to walk in a room when I recognize not a soul.  I try new things whenever and wherever I can within reason, and will take pause and think it through with issues including safety, reputation and possible outcome.  I am driven…I am not certain if you know many people who wake up at 4:30 am just to get a run in before the day hits to have a more productive day to look back on.  That is I.

I have so much passion to share with the company which is savvy enough to look deeper and see the commodity I am.

So, this cover letter is to let you know, by taking a chance to take one step further with me in your company, you’ll get exactly what you bargained for….and so much more.

Take a chance on me.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Welsh Summe

Kids today have a lot. Wow, have things come a long way; every day living, job opportunities, entertainment choices, a plethora of edible delights from which to choose, cars, TV shows, sports and instant happiness at the swipe of the finger.

But is it always such a good thing?

Here is a list of 10 Things they may think are the coolest thing ever, but upon further inspection, it just may not be all it’s cracked up to be:

10. The Internet

Never before has a book report been so easy. No going to the library in the pouring rain, walking between the aisles of colored book covers, looking through the card catalog in the Dewey Decimal System, lost in the alphabet of authors and titles.

But…you never know who you may run into at the library. A friend, a cute guy or girl, striking up conversation with a kid you never knew you knew and asking what’s so good about the book he’s about to check out and then diving head first into a conversation about the main characters. Interpersonal communication, right then and there.

9. 12-Packs our Suitcases of Your Favorite Soda

The bigger the better, if your mom lets you have it in the house. So many, never running out of your favorite Dew, Pepper or Coke. Ready and chilly for the taking right out of the fridge. Before you know it, you’re down a six pack and laden with a bloated belly. Still plenty left to go with the Nacho Cheese Doritos later.

But yet again….remember the tipping of the bottle of Coke, with the ice crystals on the outside, turning to drips of condensation down the side of the bottle, as the cold, syrupy liquid poured down your throat? Well, at my house, anyway, it was once in a blue moon we got even ONE, and when we did, it was pure appreciated heaven in a drink.

8. Over 900 plus Cable Channels on the Dial

No time to be bored with TV. There’s always something on at any time of any day of the week, to laugh, cry, jump in your seat or be riveted. And if you miss it…no matter. Behold the power of the DVR. Sometimes over 5 of them in your house. So, at your own time…pausing it when you like, speeding through the commercials. Just the facts, man.

However….do you remember the Halloween season when “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” came around, or when you weren’t certain they would find Bobby and Cindy out in the cold desert unless you tuned in or who in the hell really shot JR unless you were sitting right there on your sectional couch, if you were lucky enough to have a bottle of coke and a bowl of popcorn….if you weren’t watching it right then and there…well, too bad. But there was such an excitement to the moment!! The thrill of the “NOW”-ness. Lost today, it is.

7. Microwaveable Dinners

Everybody’s in a rush. Gotta eat it now. Don’t have time to wait for the oven to preheat. It’s all good. Fast enough for me to get to where I need to get. Dinner is served.

Don’t know about you…but I remember fondly the days of a home-cooked meal in the oven….the smell of the meal, the enticement it held as I waited for a bite. I’m not sure kids today would even know how to set an oven to 400 degrees.

6. Club Sports

It’s where the men are separated from the proverbial boys. Where the “real” players are discovered, made and honed to be the superstar of the ages. School sports deemed second fiddle, the red headed stepchild, the “just do it for fun” second cousin. Demarcation lines are drawn, set and crossed deciding who made what team, and only the best of the best excelled. Priority one. Gone all night, gone all summer, in a gym all winter, weeknights, weekends and Sundays. A must if you want to kick some ass.

Don’t get me wrong…I love sports as much as the next guy and gal…even played them. But….back in the day, it was all about the school sport….and the “made in the offseason” playing of the sport in the backyard, the court in the alley, the bumpy grass field in the empty lot and the open ice rink a train ride away. Nothing arranged, but the joy and the hardcore dedication without even knowing it was there. Made us good. We had fun. Made us better. And let us be home for a family dinner.

5. iTunes. Spotify. Pandora. Apple Music. Alexa. Ear Buds, Beats and Wireless Headsets.

Seriously can jam anywhere you damn well please. Any song. To go with any groove or shake of the tush. Whatever mood you’re in, find the beat.

But I remember…waiting for the album to drop. And by drop, I mean going to the music store and looking for the 12-inch, listening to the sample on the record player at the store, with the needle scratching the vinyl, maybe even skipping, and watching it go round and round and round….It was all about the environment….the posters of Bad Company, Boston, Stevie Nicks, and Bruce lining the walls to the register. Felt like I was at a concert.

4. GPS

Seriously, no kid is ever lost.

But…I personally think there’s a benefit to getting lost and having the astuteness and presence of mind to get out of a jam. We knew how to read maps, how to use a compass, road signs, Trip Tik Directions. I mean, there’s going to be a day when your battery is dead or there’s no service. What then?

3. Grande Skinny Extra Shot Extra Hot Add Whip Cafe Mocha

600 Calories

Coffee. Black

5 Calories

2. Smartphones

I honestly don’t think kids can live without them , and I’ve seen huge tears when lost or damaged. Sure, I may have even cried them myself. Married to them, never leave home without them, can be found at any minute of any day with them and use them to guide us through life and socially interact. We do, come on…we really do.

I remember being in sales when I lived at the beach. Well, I was …literally at the beach…playing hookey. Nobody called me, nobody knew. I was …beeped. So, I made my way to an air-conditioned building across the street to a pay phone , on my time, with my senses intact, and called in. Big Brother wasn’t watching…because he simply could not. He could only imagine.

1. Ipads and Computers in School

Sure, they’re easy and they hold the world of knowledge and mathematical equations right at the students’ fingertips.

My biggest beef is this: I remember the days of taking notes. Handwritten notes. And hanging on every word the professor/teacher had to say, and scribing them fervently on note paper, in outline form. I would study them to memory later, for the test, and recognize my own special way, my own handwriting, and I would visualize those very same notes on test day. No black and white typeset words on a white screen…but personalized notes to remember. The very art of technology is the dumbing down of American intellect.

So, I ask you, and I ask them, the kids who think they have it so great, do they really?