i bet that you can’t hear my huffing and puffing while I voice text my blog onto my iPhone. But trust me, I am 1.9 miles into a 6 mile run and and the weather is gorgeous, and I’m feeling it!!
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how easy it would be to have all the money in the world. No, I don’t mean so much for material goods… But more for the means of peace of mind, somewhat serenity, less anxious and less worry about taking care of kids, ensuing expenses with those kids , both young and into young adulthood and also with the inevitable aging and all the fun that goes with it with ourselves!!
My catalyst for this particular blog is the recent death of one Jeffrey Epstein.
No, I certainly never did know the man nor, by the looks of it would I ever have wanted to. I don’t like people like that. Braggadocious, conceited , bombastic , and with no true moral character.
But then again, who am I to judge, right?
But yeah, I do. I did. Because what a good judge does is questions the facts right in front of her. And the fact is the guy should’ve had the world by the kahunas!!
Right?
I can’t imagine having that kind of wealth and being that miserable. And let me tell you why:
Very often on a run, I daydream about winning the lottery. And then yes, I feel the accompanying feelings of vanity and shame when I daydream for so long it gets the best of me.
But then I look back at my daydreams and I discover that all along all I was really comfortable by is the picture of everything I have right now , yet more. More in the sense that I would feel calmness and excitement about visiting my kids in different cities as they work, peacefulness in the same home I live in now yet with a little more placid feeling.
I tend to worry a lot. And question if I am doing enough, especially now that the kids are growing and don’t need me in the same way they did. I’ve battled around the idea of getting a job… A real job… Kind of like the one I had in my old life… But then reality strikes and I think “Who the hell am I kidding? I’m 56 years old now! Not exactly the new intern they are looking for!”
And then that is what leads me to the daydreams.
But I picture what I would do with my gotten gains. And it’s not big. It’s not in the extreme . It’s things like having a massage once a week, maybe even every day! LOL!
I’d give to my beloved St. Pius, the church who has been there for me.
I would stay in the same house I live in now, because not only do I love my home, but I cherish the memories it holds. I cannot imagine moving out of there. I can’t even imagine updating my home because the out-of-style faux painted bathroom conjures up memories of when it was done and the kids were all around and we were watching the artist perform her majesty.
Don’t get me wrong! I would most definitely feel comfortable taking my entire family… And I do mean my entire family… And we all know how big that is… On yearly vacations together. Because there is nothing like family!
Some people may say something like “oh you don’t know if that’s how you would be until you’re faced with all of that money!”
I guess there may be some truth to that, but I can honestly say every time I daydream about it these are the things I come up with in my brain.
Having millions of dollars and money that you could never spend in your entire life will definitely not bring you peace. I am certain a confident and secure individual would realize this and use it more as a means of security for the “just in case”. It’s not going to help your faith, it’s not going to bring you closer to God, and it most definitely will not buy you the happiness and joy of inner peace you so desperately crave.
I look at the pictures of Mr. Epstein, as they are flashing all over our TV screens right now and I feel nothing but pity for the man. I wonder what kind of turmoil somebody so wealthy could have had to make him become such a monster. It makes me sad for him.
This morning as I run in neighborhoods with beautiful homes, modest yet well-kept homes with crisp and tended to yards and cars in the driveway, swing sets in the backyards of some and dimly lit lamps in the upper corner of a room, I daydream.
And I imagine these are hard-working people, who wake up 
every day and have the gift of a beautiful family, and people around them who support them and love them.
And I believe most of these people have what money just can’t buy.
jensumandthensome 