Month: June 2018

I was a pretty good student. Definitely not the smartest in my class, but I did alright. Ranked in the Top 15%, as a matter of fact. I remember being ranked 97th out of 7-hundred-and-something. See that? Not even sure if that really is 15th% because I actually sucked in Math, and still do to this day. But who cares…?

I really don’t even remember the speech from our Valedictorian, who was a kid named Steve, I believe. I also remember him as being a partyer, and a really fun guy!! He was kinda short with curly blonde hair. I have no clue where he is to this day. Hopefully he was and is a success.

I’ve never been afraid to speak in public, and so I am quite certain I would have had a great time giving a speech as Valedictorian. I wonder what I would have said back then if given the chance. Jenny Welsh, Valedictorian, urging friends and acquaintances to go forth and conquer. Show up. Make it happen. Be a producer, and make a difference in the world. Yada, yada, yada. Blah, blah, blah.

Which leads me to this: If I knew then what I know , or at least believe what I know now, my speech would most likely be a whole lot different than what my 17-year-old self would have come up with.

So, I decided to make myself a Valedictorian, and here is my speech:

Our time has come. Our time is now. We’ve made it this far and we should be proud of our accomplishments. We are ready to make a difference in this world, and to leave our mark everywhere we tread. College is ahead of us, where we can further our dreams into reality, and live the productive lives we have dreamt. We can emulate our parents, or maybe even learn from their mistakes as we perceive them.

Because our parents are our guides. They’ve given us our formation thus far. They’ve guided us, supported us both financially and in our day-to-day decisions, they’ve given us consequences to our own actions and made sure they adhered to the punishments. Most importantly, though, they have loved us unconditionally. Most of them are sitting out in the audience right now, beaming with pride at us. Thank your mother and your father, because they made you in large part who you are.

As we move forward into the world, taking one step at a time, planning out our own individual paths to greatness and navigating the curvy, winding roads to our goals, we should move so with humility and grace.

There is no path worth taking without faith in our God. Faith is the basis of all foundations; it gives us hope, fills us with a warm feeling of security and helps us in those undoubtedly to come times of turmoil. Because without faith, we are nothing but a raw egg in the front seat of a car without a seatbelt.

Some of us will define success differently than others. There is nothing inherently wrong with coveting the comforts a financially stable lifestyle can provide. A nice, warm bath at night with a roof over your head after a nice dinner, lying down in soft flannel sheets with the heat on during a cold winter’s night is nice. A vacation with your loved ones is a just dessert to a life of hard word. There is no shame in partaking enthusiastically in these somewhat superficial niceties. Nothing at all.

But we must keep in mind they could all be gone in a flash. A tragedy, an illness, a stock market crash, an unforeseen darkness to cloud over the life.

But faith is always there.

Be a good friend. Be a patient partner. Go to church. Tell your family “I love you” every time you can, which should be every day of your life. Take a compliment well and smile. Look every person who is speaking to you in the eye and make him/her feel like the most important person in the world at that particular moment. Show an honest interest in what they are saying to you, not once looking over the shoulder for something better coming along. Be they you who you would want them to be.

The world is ours. Just like it is everybody else’s. Thrive on the honorable spirit of competition, and when you win, do so with grace, and when you lose, which you will from time to time, do so with grace and humility. Be kind and congratulate, be humble and say “thank you”.

We will be heard, but we will do so without shouting. Always scream without raising your voice, and always look for the greater love and good in everyone you encounter.

God bless and God speed.

We had one thing in common, as far as I could tell. We were both mid-50’s, she already 55, and I approaching that strong number. New age bracket in races, on the uphill climb to 60, which sounds really pretty old to me. Like, time now more than ever to get things going on Chapter 3 of my life.

Kate Spade.

I’ve admired her from afar since the 1990’s. I’ve never been one to spend frivolously on stuff, like purses, unless I truly coveted one or two. In all honesty, I do have one. And so does my daughter, a gift from me to her.

To someone like me, who has watched her pennies and dollars most of her adult life, she lived the life I could only read about in Glamour magazine, or Vogue and other high fashion reads. Wow. What a life. Manhattan. The Met Gala. Park Avenue apartment, invited to every fashion show of every season. Sought after handbags of all fashion models. Whimsical, colorful, fashionable. And behind it all, the woman who started the empire in an apartment and built it to the sky.

She had it all.

But, apparently, it just wasn’t enough to sustain inner happiness, nor fill a void.

I’m no psychologist, and I will never understand the underworking demons which lead to suicide, the final decision.

I picture her apartment at this very moment: all of the high-priced furniture, the most likely filled to the rim closet full of designer clothing and shoes with red bottoms, boxes of hats and purses, many of her own and others lining the pristine shelves. The view of New York City, the phone by the bedside table ready to call a personal driver at any moment, the smell of fresh seafood wafting through the dining room, prepared just to taste by the personal chef. The daughter’ s bedroom, adorned and decorated to near perfection as any preteen dare to dream. The notebook with the meetings on the agenda, with high fashion houses, only the finest department stores clamoring to stock her new fall lineup of sparkle.

But then it all ended. Just like that.

I have been having a mid-life coming to terms of my own lately. No, not a crisis. I am not in crisis mode, just a re-evaluation mode as I peer at myself , the same eyes I’ve seen for years in the mirror, and dreaming of my next chapter to come. Have I done a good job? Have I run the good race? Have I been all God wanted me to be, or even what I wanted to be? I look deeper and know I wouldn’t change the fact I gave up a career to raise awesome kids and be a pretty good wife, but I have been lately in that state of “Now what?”

And when I enter this state, I look at people like Ms. Spade and think “Wow…she did it all. A glamourous career in an awesome place, and still with a husband and a child. Still knocking it out of the ballpark. Did I miss my chance? She’s got it all.”

And now…I’m wondering if maybe Kate Spade looked at somebody like me, in my comfortable home in a homey neighborhood with green lawns, filled with kids whose parents are all trying their best, shopping once in a while at Dillard’s and Nordstrom’s, weighing the benefits of the price tag before a decision is made to slide the VISA, and then going home to cook tacos before heading to the swim meet in and understated and now commercially available Lilly dress worn for the fourth or fifth time.

And, not quite suddenly, but little-by-little, it dawns on me that I have a pretty darn nice life.

She left a little sparkle wherever she went. Now I am going to use this moment to leave a little more sparkle wherever I go.

Rest In Peace, Kate Spade. Thank you for the ✨💥