In my lifetime alone, I’ve been found in more ways than one. The technology I have lived through has made it harder and harder to just blend right in to the every day.
CHILDHOOD IS CALLING
The black phone on the little table in the hallway was it. About a 1 foot cord, so there was a chair by the table. It took forever to call someone who had numbers like “9” and “7” in their individual phone number. Yeah. Finger in,pull it around, let it twirl its way slowly back to it’s spot. Seven of these bad boys. Then the ring. And sometimes it wold ring and ring and ring and ring…..with no way to let them know you called.
THIS IS THE OPERATOR. MAY I HELP YOU?
When I lived in Copenhagen, Denmark as an adolescent, we actually spoke to a real live operator, trying to speak in our most fluent Danish, to dial the number of our friends. I can still hear the numbers in my head, albeit phonetically and clearly not real Danish, like “GD Nitten Sexa Tuva”, which meant “Gjentofte. 1926”. The operator would thank us in English and dial the number.
WOW!!!! LOOK HOW LONG THIS CORD EXTENDS!!
So, when I moved back to the states, our phone could reach with a reallllllllllly looooooooonnnnnnng cord from the kitchen to the family room with the nogahide couches were, so I could sit and talk to someone without missing a single beat of “Welcome Back, Kotter”.
JUST LIFT IT OFF THE RECEIVER AND PULL UP THE SILVER ANTENNA
Could just lift the rectangular sized phone off the base, pull up the silver antenna for better reception and literally walk around the house. Even upstairs.
JUST LEAVE A MESSAGE
Seriously, how much fun did we have taping our outgoing messages so people could leave their own if we weren’t home? And how exciting, and sometimes downright irritating was it to come home and see the little red lightflashing, realizing you had a message waiting?
OH CRAP. MY HIP IS BUZZING
Work. In sales. Ther freedom to be me, to work on my own time, to be my own self-starter and go-getter. Never a problem. And then, cruising down the beach taking a breather, my damn beeper goes off. Time to drive to one of my accounts to a pay phone to make it look…and sound…productive. “Hi, this is Jennifer. Did somebody beep me?”
THAT THING IS FRIKKIN HUGE.
The first “cell phone”. Looking at the thing, you would have thought it was a weapon. It was a monstrosity!!!! And heavy! We didn’t all have one, but whoever was on call at the company had to carry it at all times. Now, I am a runner. I had to run with this thing. It was like carrying a dumbbell on a 7-mile run. I was doing CrossFit before CrossFit even existed!!! And the reception was terrible!!
MOTOROLA
And then came the flip phone. The cool kids had the Motorola. Even all the pretty actresses on “Days of Our Lives” had it, and flipped it down in a dramatic huff to end the conversation. For us, it became a new way to get hold of us ASAP. The trick was to say you had it in the off position because you were speaking with a client, when in reality you were perusing the Neiman Marcus “Last Call” sale. Again, time to get to an account so on the call back to the office, the noises were real. (Hey….my numbers were skyrocketing and I was the Number One Rep in the office, so cut me some slack. Quality over quantity!!)
CALLER ID
I don’t know you, or better yet…I don’t like you…I don’t answer. ‘Nuff said.
BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING
Sometimes, I think the worse thing that ever came along was GPS tracking. You couldn’t pay me enough to sell something if I knew somebody was watching Every. Single. Move. I. Made. And. When. I. Made. It. Now, every phone has it, and if the company is paying for it, they have the right. Not my cup-o-tea, that’s for sure.
RING. RING. RING. RING……
Everyone just stares. Ignores. Screams at it to just “shut uppppp!!”. The dinosaur. The….landline. So yesterday.
RIGHT AT YOUR FINGERTIPS
The world. The action. The food. The socializing. The games. The comparisons. The locations of everybody you know. The sales. Life. Right there. No more wondering. It’s all literally ….right there in front of you. Skype. FaceTime….and oh yeah…..that reminds me of one of my favorite cartoons of all time….”The Jetsons”, when George was talking to Jane on a screen, right there smack dab in the middle of his refrigerator…and I remember thinking “That would be so cool, wouldn’t it???? But there’s no way that could ever happen!! That’s impossible!!!” Right?
So here we are. I know where you are and I saw what you did.
jensumandthensome 