Don’t Wish It Away…

I just saw a commercial where a young mom and dad were lying in bed listening to the beckoning cries of their infant in the other room.  They flipped heads or tails via “Alexa” to see who the lucky one would be.

Conjured up many memories of the same.

My infants certainly did not sleep through the night til well past at least their first birthdays.  I wasn’t one of the “lucky” ones.

Or was I?

It’s true…I have read we only seem to remember the good times and seem to block out the bad, which is obviously a very good happenstance!!  I remember the babies…the crying in the night , the stumbling out of bed, tripping, rushing …getting to the baby ASAP!!  Actually, with six kids in almost exactly eight years, there was always a baby in a port-a-crib in my bedroom anyway, just a bend of the body away.

I do remember feeling exhausted, delirious in fact, every couple hours when the baby awoke.

But what I remember the most is the closeness I felt with my loved little baby, the perfect little package in my arms who looked to me to make everything right with the world, the warmness of skin, the sounds of comfort with a feeding or a patting on the back.  And I know they say not to do this…but there was nothing better in the universe than a baby falling asleep on my chest after being the nurturer, the loving parent, the best being ever built by God to take the reins.  While the craziness of the world went on around, even in the wee hours of the night, the place to be at that time was right there nestled on the flannel sheets and skin-to-skin.  All was right.

Today, there are daily reminders my kids don’t need me as much as they used to.  It’s like the balloons in a race…you start with the pace runner holding the balloons to run the entire race and achieve greatness of a goal at the end.  But if you just can’t hang on, the balloons get further and further away.  My kids are like red balloons floating ahead of me, and sometimes they go so much faster than I , it’s just impossible to keep up.  They are at a rate of speed different than my own with their growth and I just can’t seem to figure it out, or keep pace.

And sometimes my feelings get really hurt.  And I just have to shake it off and figure it out.

So I remember.  I remember when I was the biggest hero and larger-than-life person in their own individual worlds.  I had what they needed, craved and wanted, which was oh, so little , but absolutely so fulfilling to them at the time’… I was their mom.  In the light of day, and in the middle of the night.

I do remember feeling “I’m so tired!!!  I’ll never sleep again!!!”

Now I do. 

And commercials like that make me smile.​

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